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Do You Need Home Care For Aging Parents?

Aging parents - Grandfather with grandchildrenThe baby boomer generation is fast becoming caregivers to one or both aging parents. This has become the new norm for some 45 million Americans, not to mention tens of millions more in the UK, Australia, and other English-speaking western countries.

It is often the women who carry the heaviest care-giver load. With people living longer than ever, Baby Boomers comprise the first generation to care for its parents as long as it cared for its children, and this can be a very stressful time.

When You Need Home Care For Your Aging Parents

Three things you can count on when it comes to your aging parent(s):

  1. They will be adamant about wanting to remain living at home
  2. They will hate to burden you and their other children
  3. Because of their fierce desire for independence, they won’t be the ones to tell you they need help

That describes those situations when the need for home care becomes obvious, giving the family time to start making enquiries.

But often the situation arises suddenly.  A heart attack, a stroke or an accident can mean that a parent suddenly can’t be left unattended, not even for a few minutes. Life changes suddenly, not just for the parent but for those that have to drop everything else to look after them.

How Will You Know If It’s Time?

Here are but a few of the telltale signs that may alert you that something is amiss:

  • You realize that one of your parents is leaning too much on their sturdier spouse.
  • Your aging parent is no longer able to adequately perform one or more of their activities of daily living, such as bathing or moving about safely. They may also have become at high risk for falling, choking, or some other hazard of that nature.
  • You’re told by a neighbor or friend that your parent’s driving is dangerous.  Perhaps you see a number of dents and scratches on the family car or on the garage door. Maybe just going for a drive with them is enough to give you the full (and frightening) story.
  • In other instances your parent’s changes in habits may become obvious. No longer are they taking as much care with their appearance, or their home or yard has become untidy and cluttered.

Developing a Plan of Action For Your Aging Parents

There are several elements to an effective strategy, starting with determining if it’s time to hire a caregiver—or “carer” in some countries.

  • Hiring a professional caregiver is simple enough providing the family can afford the cost. In the US, and depending on where you live, you can count on a home care agency charging you anywhere from $25 to 35 an hour—at the lower end if you live in a rural area, and at the higher end if in high cost of living areas.
  • Hiring a caregiver directly would naturally cost you less, but it would entail you doing what an agency does: recruiting, interviewing, vetting, insuring or bonding, and filling-in for caregivers when they need time off.
  • Before you start contacting your local home care agencies, make sure your parents are in on the plan, and establish with them what number of hours per day and per week might be ideal for a start. Not involving them in the planning may bring you unnecessary headaches when a caregiver first shows up at their door.

Two Other Critical Elements of the Plan

Assigning responsibilities 

Who among the siblings and other members of the family will be responsible for:- Overseeing the care
– Financial and legal matters (powers of attorney, living wills)
– Doctors, prescriptions, and other health mattersFor Baby Boomers with aging parents, it’s prudent to count on emergency-type surprises, and you simply don’t want to have to squabble with your siblings at a time of crisis.

Long-term housing considerations

Is it time to sell and downsize your parents’ home? And what is the plan for their long-term housing? Will they remain at home for as long as possible, or consider moving elsewhere at some point in the future?

Tread Gently When “It’s Time”

Some of the decisions entailed in the above considerations can be quite traumatic for your aging parents. Put yourself in their shoes: how would you like it to suddenly have a stranger roaming in your kitchen and bedroom, or have to consider moving out of the home you’ve lived in for all those years?

The wise path is to tread gently while, at the same time, ensuring that your aging parents remain entirely involved in such momentous decision-making processes.

Jenni Proctor

Hi, I'm Jenni Proctor from Boomers Next Step. Remember when the formula for success in life was simply to strive for good marks at school, gain qualifications, get a great job, work hard and save for your retirement? Yes, I believed it too! For years my husband David and I wanted to develop a business that we could operate anywhere in the world, but both of us were educated to be employees.  We had entrepreneurial dreams and ideas, but still had employee mindsets. 14 years ago I took the giant leap!  I left my job in Education to start a business as a Career Counsellor and Coach, helping mature adults transition from one career path to another, and particularly from employment to entrepreneurship.  I had studied long and hard to gain new qualifications but sadly I hadn’t learnt how to market my new business. About 12 years ago we realized that we were not tracking well towards having the sort of retirement we wanted. We’d saved; we’d invested; and like so many other people we’d also lost some money along the way. It didn’t help that my business was not bringing in as much as I had been earning as an employee. Our dreams of extensive travel and helping our family were being replaced by a growing concern that we would outlive our savings. It seemed that a traditional retirement would not allow us to maintain the lifestyle we wanted. I love helping people plan the next phase of their lives, but we realized that was not going to be enough.  We needed a way to create an income stream that would pay for the travel and other lifestyle luxuries we wanted, that would provide mental stimulation, and would interest us both.

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